Oui, Oui, Da, Da

Tomorrow is a special day, my second daughter celebrates her 9th birthday. Her beginning was rough not because of too many physical complications but rather some emotional challenges my family suffered through. The day L was born my family lost one of the most wonderful people this world has ever known, my maternal grandmother. Ouida Bailey was not exactly a saint but pretty close. The daughter of an evangelist she traveled around with her twin and younger sister as a trio called the Blue Bonnet Sisters. Her middle name was Kentucky, her twin bearing Texas as her second name. Quiet and unassuming, Ouida was not usually the one to garner a lot of attention. Grandma studied piano and German in college and went on to marry a young man in the military. Living up to her name (yes in French and Russian), my grandmother almost never said no to anyone. Sweet, kind, gentle and giving, Grandma taught piano for years, not having children until later in life when first my uncle and then my mom were born several years apart. Grandma was very involved in my childhood, often babysitting and spending time with us, sharing music and ice cream. Somewhat of a nervous person she worried about all of us, reminding us over and over again of safety practices and wanted to be sure we were cautious. A victim of domestic violence my grandmother struggled with fear, a struggle that was only amplified with the onset of dementia. Late in my pregnancy with L, fearing I wouldn't get to see her again, I flew from Illinois to Florida to see her. The disease had destroyed much of her mind and she only had a few lucid moments of remembering who I was and during one of brief instances, with her hand on my baby bump, she spoke blessings over me and my family. Those blessings have stayed with me ever since. The morning of March 25, 2001 my grandmother breathed her last and died at 10.10 EST. Preparing to lead worship at my church, I was off to the side praying when I felt a strong contraction that set itself apart from all the others I had experienced off and on in the previous few weeks. Noting the time I knew that I would be having a baby that day. My watch read 9.10 CST. A few hours later I got the message that grandma had past and after a phone call with my mom, I took a nap. It was a strong contraction that woke me and I knew I was in active labor, something that I had wanted desperately just the day before when it was happening I wished would stopped and wait another week. L was born at 7 that evening, my first home birth. As I held my beautiful new baby, who's name meant pure beauty, I wondered if she would be like my grandmother in any way. As I grieved my grandmother's passing I also rejoiced, my family was richly blessed. Though born in Illinois, Lavinia was born during Texas Blue Bonnet Season and having lived here since she was not yet two, I have celebrated my daughter and my grandmother every year with the Texas Blue Bonnets. Tomorrow we will have cake and presents, sing songs, play, eat L's favorite food, talk with my parents and my mom and I will acknowledge at some point the other special woman we honor on March 25th. L knows that her birthday also marks the day Grandma Bailey moved on and though her personality is very different from her great-grandma's, they share a unique bond. Those of us that have been privileged to know either of them and especially those that have been so favored as to know them both are blessed people indeed.

Below is a song I wrote dedicated to these two special people.

Oui, Oui, Da, Da
By Jessica Martin-Weber for Ouida and Lavinia


One of two she always had an and
All along the way she’d quietly stand
Low tones warm and soft
Never held herself aloft
Heavy eyelids with lashes low
She was one to take it slow
Blue bonnet fields bobbing, bobbing, bobbing
Smiles and laughter sobbing, sobbing

Almost invisible

Yes, yes almost invisible
Oui, oui Presque invisible
Да, Да, Почти невидимый
She could never say no.

Affection from another of desire
Breathes into being a gentle fire
Promises made and hopes begin to bloom
Then delicate flower crushed too soon
Purple eyelids heavy and low
He wasn’t one to take it slow
Blue bonnet fields bobbing, bobbing, bobbing
Smiles and laughter sobbing, sobbing

Almost invisible

Yes, yes almost invisible
Oui, oui Presque invisible
Да, Да, Почти невидимый
She could never say no.

From her carved flesh and womb
She had another to groom
Time sang it’s sweet sad song
Two more mother’s come along
Now her eyelids heavy and low
She was one to take it slow
Blue bonnet fields bobbing, bobbing, bobbing
Smiles and laughter sobbing, sobbing

Like a woman pushed and torn
One dies and one is born
In the agony and bliss
It all comes down to this
Our stories intertwine
What is yours and what is mine
The songs of love and loss
We bear each other’s cross
To share a legacy of love

When she went on her way
I held pure beauty that day
Victory wept for yes
We knew our souls were blessed
Our eyelids heavy and low
Neither one the other would know
Blue bonnet fields bobbing, bobbing, bobbing
Smiles and laughter sobbing, sobbing

Yes, yes almost invisible
Oui, oui Presque invisible
Да, Да, Почти невидимый
Yes, yes, no longer invisible
Oui, oui, jamais plus invisible
Да, Да, больше невидимый

I love you Grandma.

My baby is no longer a baby.

It happened suddenly and even though I suspected it would it is still a little sad. She still has the chubby cheeks and the little barrel belly with a little nose and pouty lips, she could still pass for a baby. Until she stands and walks across the room or dances to music on the stereo thus solidifying her place in toddlerhood. Unlike our other girls, Evangeline didn't go through a trying to walk phase, she simply didn't seem interested. She never held onto our fingers taking tipy-toe steps and giggling. There were no tottering attempts to stand and haltering steps followed by a plop on her bum. Content to crawl and cruise, she was far more interested in climbing: onto the couch, onto chairs, into cabinets and drawers, up the bunk-bed ladder, into the bath tub, onto tables and beds. After figuring out the up she started working on down and is pretty good too. Occassionaly we'd see her let go of the couch or chair, take a 2-3 steps and reach for the next piece of furniture in her way around the room. That was it. Nothing else to lead us to believe she was actually interested in walking. I started praying that she'd walk by Easter to properly show off the dress I've made for her, in white.

She started Friday, I wasn't with her for the first time in over a week. Jeremy and the girls were listening to music when she decided she wanted to dance with them. She left the couch and walked to the middle of the room to contribute her fancy dance moves. They cheered and she clapped for herself before continuing on to the table. She crawled a few more times but more and more she was spotted walking around from object to object pausing every now and then to clap for herself. By the time I got home she was napping and I was given reports from her excited sisters as to what amazing feets she had accomplished. When she got up she acted as though she had never done such things, crawling and cruising just as she had the day before. But then she remembered, stood herself up in the middle of the room and walked over to pick up a toy. There it was, it really happened. I couldn't pretend everyone else was making it up. I clapped and cheered for her and she clapped and cheered for herself.

She hasn't looked back. No falling or tottering, she is practically running now and loves to dance to any and every music she hears. She bounces, rocks, sways, and turns circles in her little dance. Asserting her independence, she doesn't walk TO people, only away and she doesn't see the point in holding hands. The only time she will walk to someone is if they are holding food but we all know that she's walking to the food, not the person. When friends were over Saturday night they commented how it looks like she's been walking for a little bit already, I suspect she's been doing it for months when nobody was looking.

So good bye baby, hello toddler!