Blog swap

I participated in a post swap today with The Leaky Boob and Authentic Parenting. The journey into Unschooling for our family wasn't one I entered willingly. I resisted homeschooling with everything I had and UnSchooling was even more terrifying. Though we are no longer UnSchooling at the same level or what we'd like, we cherish the year plus that we were able to enjoy the UnSchooling experience and learned a lot from that time that we still utilize in our educational journey today. I hope you take the time to check out the Authentic Parenting blog and become a fan of their Facebook fan page.

Post over on The Leaky Boob today. For some reason the possessed keyboard cooperated.

Hello Gibberish

(These odd little face sculptures were hidden on the side of two buildings in Montmarte Paris. I think they're great.)

I want to write a post for todayr, I hfave several in mind. In fact, I fhave so manry blog posts floating around in myr fhead I can't even pick wfhicfh one to actuallyr write. As I go about mry dayr working, caring for kids, cooking, blafh, blahf, blafh, I am constantlry carrying on mini-conversations withf readers. Crafhting new posts, many that never materialize on my blog. Wfhicfh means I talk to myrself. In mry fhead. Tfhis could mean blogging isn't actuallyr fhealtfhyr for me. Or it means I'm strange and would do tfhat anyrwarys. But I'm not going to do a real tfhougfhtful blog post righft now, as ryou can see, I'm fhaving issues. No, not tfhose kind of issues, tfhoughf I fhave thfose too but computer/typing issues. And track-pad issues. Wfhen I type tfhe letter "H" mryr computer randomlyr contributes an extra "f" or two. And vice versa. Same tfhing hfappens withf tfhe "y" and "r." But it doesn't do it every time, just most every time.

Thfis. Is so. Annoyring.

"The torture of the anvil life with thin wings."

(On a wall in Montmart, Paris)

Tfhe computer went into tfhe Apple Store today for thfem to save tfhe day. Guess wfhat tfhey said. Yep, tfhere's a problem. You need a new thfing. Ok, tfhey didn't say thfing, I'm not sure wfhat tfhey said but I need a new thfing and tfhey don't fhave thfe tfhing I need so it is on order. Wfhen tfhis new thfing comes in tfhey'll call and we'll take thfe computer up wfhere it will fhave to stay 1-3 days. So in tfhat 1-3 days I'll be reading books. Yes, tfhat's wfhat I've decided. Not cleaning, not cooking, not writing, but reading books. I can always fhind ways to avoid productivity. But reading is productive! I swear, I only read productive reading materials. Tfhe Nanny Diaries qualifies as productive literature, rigfht? HFYR. Yum. Fun. Random letters.

So because I don't want to drive myself crazy trying to post pictures from L's b-day wfhen my track pad isn't working correctly and I'll drive myself crazy trying to write any of tfhe otfher potential posts rattling around in my hfead and cleaning up excess letters constantly. All serious posting is postponed until I hfave a macfhine tfhat doesn't give my written voice some sort of bizarre lisp. I will try to post some WIP tomorrow and maybe copy and paste an old post or sometfhing I've written but never shfared. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't like to commit. Oddly enoughf, thfe madness witfh my computer seems to be reflecting some of my own feelings, a sudden onset of gibberish. Maybe some "quiet" is a good idea to sort thfings out.

If you read my blog...

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Huggz Heal

I guest posted over here today. This was not an easy post to write for me personally and readers should know there could be triggers for abuse victims. In this particular post I talk about how even loving, devoted parents can slip into patterns of abuse with their children, in fact, I think often that is the case. The abusers rarely are the monsters we'd like to imagine them to be. The truth is, they are usually just like you and me. The danger of teachings by Michael Pearl and his wife Debbie Pearl is just that it is easy for parents seeking to raise their children "right" and to be godly people don't realize just how far it, how far they can go. My family was a part of ATI, then called ATIA or Advanced Training Institute (of America) and my parents really believed they were doing what was right. I believe that later their understanding changed. It is a slippery slope and the intentions are for the best. Unfortunately, that doesn't ensure that the outcome is.

Everyone's Beautiful- except me.

Deep breath. It's simple really, just write a few sentences about your day, life with kids, homeschooling and whatever is in the crockpot at the moment. Not hard, you can do this.

Yes, I talk to myself. Even to prepare to write a blog post. In fact, I talk to myself all the time though it's never really to myself but to some imaginary host of readers. A host. There are 7 followers of my blog, hardly a host. But I love you guys, even if it doesn't appear that way thanks to my gross neglect of my blog. They don't make it here often but I write post after post in my head through out my day, I'm thinking of you, I promise.

The neglect is over, it ends here. I'm blogging again. Last night I had dinner with an author, Katherine Center, a wonderful woman who nicely kicked me in the rear though I don't think she realized it. Blog, she said, and write. Constantly struggle with the balance but at least struggle. So here I blog. My confession, I want to be a writer, always have but have always dismissed it as something that would never happen because, well, there are millions of people that want to be a writer and last night I learned what I already knew with out numbers to back it up- something like one in 900 submissions to a publisher get published. The number could have been 9,000, I don't exactly remember and in reality it doesn't exactly matter, the odds are not good. Still, I'm going to try. Here's my first attempt, I'm telling the world that I want to be a writer and I'm working on a book. All 7 of you. Plus maybe my mom, and if she can figure out how to comment she might even say hi. Hi mom.

The question is what to blog about. In my mind, my life is boring, really boring. I see beauty in my life but I am not part of it, just the onlooker of beautiful moments that perhaps only I'd appreciate because they are created by the glue and painted covered hands of my offspring. Cooking, cleaning, home schooling, knitting, and occasionally writing, not exactly the stuff of captivating posts and I'm not about to have a specific theme to my blog, say homeschooling or crafting because I am far too unfocused and unorganized to achieve that well. My blog reflects my life, a little bit of everything and profoundly unorganized and the idea of recording that chaos somewhere and holding it up for the world to see (yes, even the 7) is rather intimidating. Sure, I could present something that is nice and polished, like a semi-precious stone cut and smoothed to shine as something of real value but in reality I would know, it's still just a piece of rock you can find on a hiking trip made to look pretty. No, that doesn't interest me, if for no reason other than I stink at lying. I'd be found out. All it would take is for one person that's been to my house to say something and it would be all undone. Sticking with the truth even if it is messy and unglamorous.

Enough about me. Last night my good friend, Monette (currently blog-less, this situation must be remedied) invited me to an event she planned for her club to have dinner with Katherine Center who is *gasp* really a very normal woman and mother. Borrowing Katherine's most recently published book, Everyone's Beautiful, from Monette, I read through it in about 3 days, give or take. I would have read it in less time, an easy read it's free flowing conversational style makes it hard to put down but I had a few distractions that required I feed and teach them at least once in a while. It was everything all the quotes and reviews said it would be and more. Mildly depressing for maybe three quarters of the book for me not because it's a depressing story, on the contrary, it's funny, poignant, real, and engaging, but because in the telling of a young stay-at-home-mother with three children under 4 it was a little too real for me. I squirmed at times in spite of my laughter with the feeling that I could relate with the main character a little too well. This is so much of what made it so I wanted to read it all in one sitting. Uncomfortable though I may be with the idea that I could relate to this character I had to see where the book was going, what was going to happen to her. She starts off the book declaring that she decided to change and I had to know what that change would be and how it would take place. The further I got into the book the more I had to know about this change, if for no other reason than to have hope for myself.
Read this book if you have been a mother of small children, are a mother of small children, want to be a mother of small children, or have a mother. Though it's a book about a mother of small children in reality it's about so much more, a book about feeling stuck and what we do to change it. A story of love, hope, promise, and the humor in life that accompanies us on whatever path we're on if we have the courage to see it. And beauty, a story of beauty. I'm attempting to find that in myself now too.

And that was more than a few sentences. I really need to write a book.