Tuesday, February 23, 2010


I censor myself. I do. And while sometimes I know that is a good thing (certain things just don't need to be said in certain places or in certain company) sometimes I'm frustrated by it. People think they know me and even though I certainly don't come across as holding back I often am. Such a delicate balance between being respectful, having tact, communicating love, grace, compassion and being yourself. Myself is not necessarily gentle. Most of the time I'm ok with it, with putting my filters in place and not letting every blasted thing that enters my head out of my mouth, I recognize that sometimes you can catch more flies with honey and that showing grace and love is more important than convincing someone that you are right and they are wrong. I live by this. Most of the time.

But some times I don't want to. Sometimes I want to let it all hang out. I consider doing that here but then I worry that I'll regret it, that I'll get in trouble some how. Or I'd lose friends or offend supporters. And my family reads my blog sometimes. Yeah, if I let it all hang out it could get really uncomfortable. Jeremy hears it all and he's really cool with that and I hear it all from him too. That helps, I think I'd go crazy if I didn't have that. Hopefully, he's not going crazy because of it but we seem ok. Sometimes I consider starting a secret blog, one where I would have a secret identity and, well, not invite people I know in real life to read it.

This rambling is over, for now. Time for free pancakes at IHOP.

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