Thursday, December 10, 2009

Time to sit.

Today I have a sick toddler. All the cleaning, schooling, writing, phone calls, work, cookie baking and knitting I had planned on getting done went out the window and was replaced with lots and lots of cuddle time. My primary job today? "Hold me, mommy." I had planned some activities for today that would hopefully make my to-do list shorter for the time being. That was not to be though. Cooling a feverish brow, wiping a runny nose, wrapping my arms around her little body curled around my belly was about all I was able to get done today. There is a pot of a hearty yet simple vegetable soup on the stove for dinner that I managed to get made with the help of Jeremy and the big girls in those brief moments E let me set her down and we'll be enjoying the warmth of that soup (loaded with garlic) in just a few moments with some crusty bread and a bit of brie. Initially I was annoyed at how my day was going but then I realized that I needed to savor it. E wanted to spend hours just being held and cuddled on my lap, there was nothing more important that I could be doing in that moment but to meet her needs. Even though in reality I'm currently a stay-at-home-mom, I don't think of myself that way. It simply boils down to me not being the best version of myself if I don't pursue a career outside of my children. More on that later (as in another post some day, somewhere down the road) but today wasn't about being a stay-at-home-mom or a work-out-of-the-home-mom. It was about what my daughter needed and even if I was working full-time out of the home still what she needed was mommy or daddy to have an available lap for her to curl up in and get her clementine, goji beeries and walnuts when she needed a snack. Deadlines, agendas, and clients can't hold a candle to her needs in that moment. So that is what I did today just as I have done in the past when I worked 40+ hours a week out of the house. It was warm and sweet and special and just what we all needed. I drank 3 cups of tea this morning, when else would I get to do that? We watched a Muppet Christmas movie (not A Christmas Carol) in the middle of the day and E and I were entertained by the big girls putting on dance shows to Christmas music blasting through the house. The big girls wrote their letters to Santa and made clay Christmas ornaments for our as of yet undecorated Christmas tree. We picked out our ridiculous list of cookies to be baked for the holidays and curled up with books (and some coffee and chocolate for me) for a nice quiet time. No, this wasn't the day I planned but it was the day that needed to be.

The only thing that is sad with this picture is that it took a little girl having a fever, cough and runny nose for me to take the time to do this. I need to plan these kind of days a little more often. Now, off to knit and watch White Christmas after eating our soup.

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